Friday, April 4, 2008

Yesterday, I had an anxiety attack. I don't know what brought it on... well actually, it may have been that I have two papers due and had not started on either one of them. I woke up with a headache and thought that it would be gone by the time I started class. I hopped in the shower as I do every morning and proceeded to get ready for my day. However, that hill on the way to class from woodland hall made me feel as if I was going to die. I finally reached my destination and took my seat in class. My head phones were on, and I did not notice how loud was huffing and puffing until my roomate asked if I was all right. I responded "no" and told her my head was hurting very badly and my heart fealt like it was going to pump out of my chest. She had never seen me that way and did not know what to do. After the dreadful class was over, I decided to get a Sierra Mist to see if it would help me feel better, since the Union Station does not sell Ginger Ale. I did not eat, because I was afraid that it would make me feel even worse. As I walked back to my dorm room, I tried to conceal my tears from the passer-byers. But after a while, they just kept flowing and I just had to continually wipe my eyes. I climbed the three flights of stairs and walked down the long corridor and finally entered my room. I opened the door and went straight to my bed and tried to sleep. My roomate was on my comouter and watching tv, but I tried not to concentate on that. She was watching BET and 106th & Park was on. They played the song "No Air" by Jordan Sparks featuring Chris Brown. Usually I love that song, but that day it just pissed me off. I realized I couldn't breathe because I was my imagining my worst fear, waves of big bodies of water surrounding me. I continued to take cat naps, only to wake up feeling worse. The only thing I consumed all day was Sierra Mist. And, well, that made me "sick" if you know what I mean. Later on that night, one of my best friends form back home called and I was tmpted to not talk to her. She said," What's wrong, Diamond? You sound like you just woke up." I told her, "Im sick. And i don't know why."After chatting and telling her all about the goings-on of the day, how I cried and slept on the floor because I couldn't climb in my bed and she said I should eat some crackers. That I needed something solid in my tummy. i told her i was too scared to eat, but she convinced me to do it anyway and it made me feel sooooo much better. (Thanx Aquila). But I dont understand why I woke up this morning with another panic attack... Hmmm, maybe it was the English class.